I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
