I hate your face
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
