youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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