This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
