Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
