i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
