somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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