they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
