True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
