i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
