How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
