fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
