Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
