He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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