You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
