any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
