She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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