Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
tell me about the fingering
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