So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
