Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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