forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
foreskin is a definite game changer
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
