tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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