I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I just sharted jello shots
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
