Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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