Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
