I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
