So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
false alarm, still single
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