I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
