The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
