he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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