This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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