Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
