I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Also, beer. Big fan.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
