btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
