Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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