Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
