Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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