I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
