I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
