Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
