he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
