His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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