margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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