Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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