He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize