you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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