This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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