I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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