I just pynch a tree in the face
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
