ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
