I need help removing her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
