She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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