I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
