Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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