Already got asked if we're dating
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
